What brought you here?

Every once in a while I check out what brings people to Jack Straw Lane, and then I wish I hadn’t. People look up weird merde on the internet. Maybe it’s unintentional. Like the time I Googled ‘free ass image’ when I was looking for a photo of an equine ass. Not one of my clearest moments. But then there are those persistent searches that show up too often to be brushed away.

Top 5 searches that brought people here:

1. How to hang a wet towel? Who knew that this was so complicated? Aside from my son that is. After months of harping explaining I call it a win when the towel is OFF the floor, even if it is scrunched up on the towel bar and will never dry. Apparently the problem has reached epidemic proportions based on the number of times people pose the question.
2. Mistress quotes. I include one mistress quote in my Cool Quotes and suddenly I’m the go-to person. And on that note, why would anyone need to search for mistress quotes?
3. Nicklas Lidström, Nicklas Lidström’s wife, shirtless Nicklas Lidström. It’s not what you think. I’ve only mentioned him once or so. It’s because I’m a hockey fan, especially when they play D. And he’s one of the best. He won 4 Stanley Cups. He was the captain of his team. He’s retired now, but if you look at his record you’ll see it speaks for itself…fine…it’s totally what you think.
4. Equal parts CN Tower Edge Walk and Provence. These make me happy because a) I’m so proud of having done this with a great bunch of women and b) I love Provence and had an amazing holiday there last summer. If these two could replace all those pervy searches I’d be thrilled.
5. Men in rubber suits. Exhibit A for pervy searches. In my defense when I wrote about men wearing rubber suits it involved super powers and superheroes. As in Superman’s suit, not as a fashion choice. This is one of those times when I don’t really want to know the motivation behind the request.

What’s the weirdest search you’ve seen? Or have you looked up things online that could be misinterpreted?