This is awkward.
- I can blunder in spectacular fashion at the simplest occasion and yet…today I’m bragging. So un-Canadian of me.
- Also if you feel all squirmy when reading this, like your undies have started crawling into places they have no business being, it’s probably because at some point you let the opportunity pass. You know the one where you apologize.
Every once in a while it’s okay to proclaim to the world that you kind of rock at something or bellow from a mountain top if you choose. We dismiss our positives and put more effort into being self-depreciating. Hands up if you do this. My hand is way up.
But not today.
I kinda rock, Part 1 – I am really good at apologizing. And doing it sincerely.
Not for things I haven’t done or said, but for comments or actions which were wrong or caused offense. I try to envision how my actions and words affect others and not hurt people, but sometimes I slip up. And I was taught, by a mother with a backbone, to own up and say sorry.
It’s tough. Like nausea-inducing-get the shakes-tough, but I swallow my anxiety and say that 5-letter word. Because for that moment it’s not about me, it’s about how the other person feels. Because of me. I don’t have to like someone to apologize. I don’t even have to respect them. But I will always have the cohones to face my screw-ups.
* Disclaimer Sorry doesn’t excuse violence, cruelty or vengeance. Also, don’t apologize for things you didn’t do – “Hello fellow Canadians and women in general. I’m talking to you.”
It speaks volumes for the sincerity of your apology when you make direct contact with whoever is hurt by your words and actions. Don’t send a note to Suzie two rows back to tell Johnny that you’re sorry. Man up, grow a spine and call, email or walk up to the person you injured and say it. “I’m sorry.” The satisfaction and self-respect you’ll feel is second to nothing else. That story can then end and you can move on without the niggling knowledge that you were wrong and hid behind your fear.
I kinda rock, Part 2 – I’m teaching my kids to apologize.
I will drive them to people’s houses, hold their hands while they’re making the call and have their backs when they are facing the person, but I will always encourage them to SAY it. And you know what? Despite any discomfort, they will do something nice for someone else; soothe another’s hurt.
Saying you’re sorry means living with no regrets. Do it. Say it. And then stop hiding your strengths. We all have them.